MY BRIEF TESTIMONY

BRIEF 5 min. PERSONAL TESTIMONY - BARRY BALLARD

On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

BARTH'S ESSAY ON RELATION BETWEEN CHURCH AND SPIRIT: ROM. 9: 1-16

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/rm5vr4qmxsv3l8i/paulx9b.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 9: 1-16

1.        TITHAMI:  to appoint someone for something.
2.       DOXA:  in this case, as doxa-reflection of the signs shared at the threshold
3.       DIA-TITHAMI:  phonologically declared desire.
4.       EK-LEGO:  “written-in-language”
5.       EPANGELLA:  the “what” or content of “promise”
6.       ELEOS:  mercy shown between selves at threshold.
7.       OIKTIRO:  compassion shown between selves at threshold.
8.       BARTH’S CONCEPTS:
a.        CHURCH-OF-ESAU:   stands for finite-organized religion and its institutions
b.      CHURCH-OF-JACOB:  represents the ideal which is to be realized by the church-of-Esau.
c.       PRIMAL-ORIGIN-OF-ALL-THINGS:  interrogating content of Christ-event.
d.      DIVINE-INCOGNITO:  spirit’s critique of all verbal exscriptions of the self.

e.      GUILT-OF-INEVITABLE-FAILURE:  defines the finite organized religion.

Friday, November 29, 2013

PAUL ON PREDESTINATION AND "DIALOGUE OF SPIRIT": ROM. 8: 18-39

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/2d7c14ia9ic3bqo/paulx8.mp3



GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 8: 18-39   :

1.      PATHEMA:  an endured and passionate suffering; like a woman enduring a pregnancy and birth-pangs for the hope of new life.
2.      DOXA:  in this instance; the actuality of doxa-radiance, as realized.
3.      KITZO:  all creative activity in all of creation, which is in a state of creative-pregnancy-of-spirit”.
4.      ELPIDZO:  hope as an indicated-tendency; such as the appearance of a pregnant woman.
5.      HUPO-TASSO:  in this instance; being placed in a fixed situation of hope.
6.      PHETHORA:  the body-state of dissolution that has been overcome by the “hope and lamenting body-state; as newly inscribed in the unconscious.
7.      SUN-SUSTENAZ:  to lament with someone; such as the loving labor of a mid-wife, assisting in a birth.
8.      SUN-ODUNAO:  the mid-wife’s emotional empathy with the suffering of giving birth.
9.      EKDECHOMAI:  a hopeful expectation that rests on a promise as visible as a pregnancy.
10.  LUTROEO:  to be set free through the kenosis self-emptying of spirit in the CE.
11.  KLATOS:  the phonological “call”, or existential interrogation.
12.  PRO-HORIZO:  used for predestination and misunderstood frequently.  Means to imprint a trajectory or horizon on existence.
13.  EIKO:  means “image”, imprinted image that defines the horizon.  In this case it is an “event-of-image”.  For Barth, from “baptism-to-crucifixion”.
14.  KALEO:  the implicating understanding of the phonological “call”.
15.  DIKAIOS:  Greek word for post-modern “inscription” of the unconscious.
16.  DOXA:  in this case, representing the self’s actual “exscription” of the signs that were internalized.
17.  CHARIZOMAI:  the objective “presentation” of the doxa-bulges.  We now have many layers of our understanding of charis.  I hope you have been following along to appropriate all of these related concepts.  “CHARIS”: plane-of-grace.  “CHARIZMA”:  as always an event-of-being.  “CHARIZOMAI”:  the tendencies visible in the event.

18.  EKLEGO:  to be elected, at the composition- threshold of shared inter-subjective construction, to take up the agreed-upon signs.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

BARTH'S "DOCTRINE OF SPIRIT": ROMANS 8: 1-17

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/ykv6unysvegrnh4/paulx7.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROM.  8: 1-17  :
1.        PATEO:  to walk (figuratively) at the composition threshold in intuitive partitioning of signs from mundane existence.
2.       PNEUMA:  always a “transiting spirit” for Paul; always providing traces of itself in its transit, but to be apprehended in its “passing”.
3.       HAMARTIA:  always a consideration of sin as “being-out-of-place”, where spirit could not be phonologically recognized.
4.       KATAKRINO:  strong word for Paul.  CE. Does not deconstruct death-drive.  It “destroys” the death-drive.
5.       DIKAIOMA:  god’s righteousness , as being proved-right through the actuality of righteousness appearing in selves that work to lift spirit.  Reciprocity is emphasized and dialectics.
6.       PHRNEO:  to center one’s motivation on something; “sarx”(flesh) vs. “pneuma” (spirit).  This is at the explored unconscious level.
7.       THANATOS:  the death-drive as rigid and static fundamentalism
8.       DZOA:  the life-drive as eschatologically open.
9.       EKTHRA: hostility and defensive attitude towards structuring signs.
10.   HUPO-TASSO:  hyper-obedience; enthusiasm, for constructing and positing sign-models of lifting spirit.
11.   ZOPOIEO:  giving life to something.  In this case, the giving of “alethia”(truth)  in the return of spirit into the self – to be inscribed in meditation.

12.   SUN-KLARONOMEO:  co-inheritors of “spirit”.  Defines us. 

Sunday, November 24, 2013

BARTH ON FRAGMENTATION: ROM. 7: 16-25

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/znq2afw9jpnncma/paulx6.mp3


GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 7:  16-25  :

1.                   THELO:  the theoretical side of the will, the ideal that is intended.

2.                  PARA-KEIMAI:  an intentional action that is standing beside the self on the composition threshold.

3.                  KATE-GADZOMAI:  the practical will that must employ secular “means”.

4.                  KALOS:  an action, as the “right way”

5.                  KAKOS:  that which represents loss of direction.

6.                  RHOMAI:  to preserve from going in wrong direction.

7.                  MELOS:  finitude itself, in all aspects.

8.                  ANTI-STRATEUOMAI:  to struggle against

9.                  ALETHIA-SENSE:  the truth of deeper meaning trying to emerge in a situation, presenting its doxa-signs.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

PER BARTH: PAUL SAYS "RELIGION MUST DIE". ROM. 7:1-15

copy link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/3p34i5c4m1kat2d/paulx5.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR: ROM.  7: 1-15 :

1.  THANATOO’: a bringing of death to someone by someone else.

2.  NOMOS: law; in this case the literal word-for-word written dogma.

3.  SOMA: the body, as seat of the sense-of-experience; including sensate and directional.

4.  CHRIST: Christ-event, as charisma-event.

5.  EGEIRO: objectively “resurrected”, raised-up.  Within ethics: the “lifting” of signs up from the cosmos-situation.

6.  NEKROS: “fallen-dead”, as opposed to that which can be lifted-up out of a situation.

7.  KARPOPHOREO: to bear fruit of “inner-spirit”.

8.  KAINOTES: new and extra-ordinary.

9.  PNEUMA: not just “spirit”, but spirit as dynamic and transiting through a situation.

10.  PALAIOTAS: aged

11.  GRAMMA: letter-by-letter literal document of first-learning.

12.  ENTOLA: rigid decrees and dogma.

13.  THANATOS: always being penalized for something, constant judging.

14.  PNEUMATIKOS: as dynamic and fluid; spiritual like spirit itself.

15.  PIPRASKO: fated towards something.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

BARTH'S "CHARISMA-EVENT": ROM. 6: 11-23

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/mbi14cmh302uem7/paulx4.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR : ROMANS 6: 11-23 :

1.  PARISTAMI: to present a representation.  Especially , of the “self”at the composition-threshold.

2.  A-BASILEUO’: to negate the sensate-side of the self from gaining dominance; especially the hamartia of “darkening of consciousness from being out of place”.

3.  MELOS: figuratively meaning all of one’s sensate self or “finitude”.

4.  DOULEUO: to function as obedient.

5.  HAGIASMOS: as consecrated through spirit.

6.  CHARISMA: an expression of the bestowal of an event as “favored-towards-spirit”.

7.  PLANE-OF-CHARIS: the level of dialogue at the composition threshold where the charisma-event can emerge.

8.  DOXA-SIGNS /AGAPE-STRUCTURE: both of which emerge on the plane-of-charis, to define the charisma-event.

9.  SOMA: the entire self, including both the “sensate-sense & the “directional-sense”.

10.  ADVENTUS: as used along with “futurum”.  Adventus as a vertical cut of spirit and “futurum” as the eschatological direction of spirit.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

BARTH'S "FUTURUM-OF-SPIRIT": ROM. 6: 1-10

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/j2puvyeonx92xn1/paulx3.mp3

Glossary for ROM.  6: 1-10   :

1.  BAPTIDZO: initiation rite of immersion that functions as a phonological-sign of the “supreme-step” of faith.

2.  SUN-THAPO: to be “buried-with” Christ.  A suspension-type moment of the “tension-of-faith” ; of being bound-up with the “extremity-of-abandonment”.

3.  PERI-PATEO: to be active but within a certain domain or space, such as the “composition-threshold”.  Where we work out our “parable-of-eternity”.

4.  A-DOULEUO: not subjected to hamartia, which is related to hamartano or “missing-the-mark”.

5.  HAMARTIA: sin, as the darkening of the mind, due to missing the mark of the faith-threshold.

6.  SUN-AGOGE: to be called together phonologically to the circular threshold with others seeking the deeper meaning of spirit.

7.  SUN-ZOPOIEO: to be made (eschatologically) to live with Christ.  Trajectory and horizon are emphasized.

8.  TOPOS: example of inhabited-space: Adam - Christ - Self.

9.  DOXA & AGAPE:   “doxa”  are Paul’s signs of the lexical network & “agape” is the name for the syntax-structure applied to the network.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

TOPOS-A-TOPOS:

link here to enlarge:  http://www.mediafire.com/view/6stwnpabjzeeata/BARTH06.jpg

BARTH ON: DEATH-DRIVE & ORIGINAL SIN: ROM. 5: 12-21

CLICK LINK:   http://www.mediafire.com/listen/y7v7jbnm5chzz7z/paulx2.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR: ROM. 5: 12-21

1.  THANATOS: spiritual death; inability to stand at composition-threshold.

2.  TOPOS: an example of inhabited space.

3.  KRISIS: crisis of judgment.

4.  APEITHAS: disobedient to a parent’s vision.

5.  PERISSOS: exceedingly empowered.

6.  DZOA: life without clear eschatological implications.

7.  CHARIS: grace of unification; negating crisis of judgment.

8.  HUPER-PERISSOS: hyper-exceedingly empowered.

9.  AIONIOS: without pre-determined beginning or end.

10.  DOXA: signs of spirit.

11.  AGAPE: structure of signs of spirit.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

TESTING "SPIRIT-ARCHITECTURE" ROM. 5: 1-11

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/wf2v55uyao90jn9/paulx1.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR: ROM.  5: 1-11

1.  PROSAGO: to draw forward into the “supreme step”.

2.  STAKO: to stand outside the norm.

3.  KAUXOMAI: boast beyond the limit-point.

4.  THLIPSIS: narrowed and restricted existence.

5.  HUPOMONAY: endurance through a trial.

6.  DOKIMAY: testing theories.

7.  AGAPE: love of the “spirit-relation”.

8.  SUNISTAYMI: a gathering together.

9.  HAMARTOLOS:  sinners, out of place.

10.  ORGAY: legalistic judgment of dogma.

11.  SODZO: preserved from something.

12.  DZOA: life.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

THE SIMULTANEOUS-MOMENT: ROM. 4: 16-25

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/a2pjkcd7inodnq2/paulx.mp3

GLOSSARY:

1.  KALEO: to signify

2.  ZOPOLEO: to germinate

3.  ELPIS: object of hope.

4.  KATANOEO: to be signaled.

5.  NEKROSIS: finite death-tendency

6.  SEMAINO: to communicate phonologically.

7.  ELLOGEO: to impute substance.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

"PISTEUO": SHARED MEDITATIONS; ROMANS 4: 1-15

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/yvy6bqz48cva47e/paul09.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 4: 1-15

Greek plus post-modern meaning:

1.  PISTEUO = entrust something to someone in an exchange.

2.  KALUPTO = to partition apart  separately .

3.  PERITOMAS = reaching a symbolic covenant relation.

4.  ORGE’ = obstacle of rigid dogma.

5.  EPAGGELIA = promised spirit.

6.  DIALOGISMOIS = dialogue.

7.  ENERGEO = eschatological operation of something; judgment in this case.

Monday, November 4, 2013

BARTH'S CHRIST-EVENT AS "SIGN-POST"; ROMANS 3: 21-31

click on link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/jn9s8c6rqpmwy70/paul08.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 3: 21-31

order: “Greek - given English - Post-Modern”

1.  . PHANEROS - manifested - “presented as logia”

2.  HUSTERO - come short -failed to reach the com-position place.

3.  APOLUTROSIS - redemption - liberation from “apostia”.

4.  THEOS-ALLALON - god of reciprocal relation.

5.  PISTIS - faith - confronted by persuasive wisdom.

6.  HAMARTANO - sin - miss the marked place of com-position.

7.  DOXA - glory - radiance.

8.  HILASTERION - propitiation - mercy seat.

Friday, November 1, 2013

"LOGIA", THE VOICE OF SPIRIT: ROM. 3: 1-20

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/1trgad5cd0d8h74/paul07.mp3

GREEK GLOSSARY OF CONCEPTS FOR

ROMANS 3: 1 -20   :   ( Greek - given English - Post-modern )


1.  LOGIA - oracles - “phonological sayings"

2.  APOSTIA - faithlessness - "declarations of spirit reduced to rigid dogma".

3.  ALETHASE - be true - “coming-to-truth”

4.  PSOSTACE - be a liar - a “false-self”

5.  SIONE - none understand - “no one has a sense of meaning”

6.  ECH - REOTHASAN - gone out of the way - “turned sour”

7.  OU - DIKAISIS - not justified - “no pronouncement of righteousness”

8.  BARTH’S TRIAD:
     A.  LOGIA-GENOS - coming-to-presence of declaration
     B.  LOGIA-AUSTEROS - a forced rigidity of declaration
     C.  LOGIA-LEIMMA - remainder of declaration,  as spirit.