MY BRIEF TESTIMONY

BRIEF 5 min. PERSONAL TESTIMONY - BARRY BALLARD

On a warm summer day in Washington D.C., I sat in a small movie theater listening to a re-broadcast of a Billy graham crusade that had been previously given elsewhere. I was attending with a Christian group who ministered on the air force based where I was stationed, "Andrews Air Force Base". At the conclusion of the presentation, there was an invitation given to receive Christ and counselors were standing up front to pray with those who came forward. The house lights went up and I went forward and prayed to receive Jesus Christ into my life. This was not the moment of my true conversion, this was "preparation-of-heart", part one.

On a humid pitch-black night in 1969, my plane touched down on the Saigon airfield that was currently under rocket attack. Black-out conditions were in effect and we were rushed to trucks and then transported to our barracks and its inclusive bunker for protection. I was assigned an m16 rifle, two clips of ammo, and given a helmet and flack-vest. I spent my first night in Saigon standing in the bunker, wondering "why?" I was even here. I understood none of it, except that supposedly it had to do with communism and we were protecting democracy. But, I just felt abandoned to the most bizarre and remote assignment I could imagine. I worked "support", so I do not want to give the false impression that I was "combat"; but I did serve some time in the jungle. Only one man died in our group during the year I was there; and he told me beforehand that he wanted to die and never return home. He had received his divorce papers in the mail about a week before my arrival. He was shot down in a helicopter "one" day before he was to return home. My one year in Saigon was a lesson in the deterioration of the human spirit and soul. Eventually, I also learned to hate myself and "living" and could care less about what might lie ahead. I was returning to the states with a crushed human soul, devoid of all optimism. This was "preparation-of-heart", part two.

On a humid gray-dusk-like-evening, I found myself, in 1970, driving through the main gate of Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas. I soon settled into my tasks of working in the 7th bomb wing headquarters, in support roles again as usual. I also served on the honor guard for special occasions for fallen veterans funerals, or award ceremonies. Even though my personal psyche was "wasted“; I was considered an admirable employee and respected for my abilities. My inner life however was an absolute disaster that I did not "share" with anyone. Strangely enough; I was visited by representatives of the "Navigators"; the same Christian organization that had approached me in Washington D.C. I began attending bible studies two nights a week and felt a little better about life by receiving this follow-up. I'll call this "preparation-of-heart", part three.

During my term of service at Carswell, I met my wife to be, Beverly, who invited me to her church in River Oaks, "Trinity Baptist Church". They had a young pastor, John Hatch, who was just finishing his doctorate at Southwestern and the atmosphere attracted me. It was in 1973, “4” years after that initial "preparation-of-heart"; that I made an honest commitment to Jesus Christ and immediately followed that with baptism.

From there, the road did not get any smoother, but my “soul” began a healing process that eventually went from healing to true "Wonder and Discovery". The first thing that was revealed to me was my spiritual gift, which is "Teaching". While at Trinity, I ended up writing three commentaries: James, Colossians, and Philippians. All three helped me grow in my commitment to Jesus Christ.

True conversion was preceded by three moments of "preparation-of-the-heart" in my case. Over a four year stretch of time, God never gave up on me. I think the strength of my testimony must be given to the strength of God's loving patience; to lead me along the final path that would secure my faith. Thank You.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

WARNING ON DECONSTRUCTION: ROM. 16: 17-20

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/5j270w2uhbraqwy/paulxx9.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 16: 17-20  :

1.        SKOPOS:  to “target” something.
2.       EKKLINO:  to turn aside from someone.
3.       PARADIDAKA:  the positing of a contradiction.
4.       AKERIOS:  pure truth of theoretical intent
5.       SUNTRIBO:  the Greek term for “deconstruction”.
6.       CHARIS:  as substantial force of attraction and singularity.


7.       Paul’s concluding comments include the notion that the acquisition of “signs and meanings” will usually involve some work of deconstruction.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

DOCTRINE OF INTER-SUBJECTIVITY: ROMANS 15: 1-33

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/pv4rlwqa2x3w3ng/paulxx8.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 15: 1-33  :

1.        ASTHENAS:  an individual without influence or entitlement.
2.       BASTADZO:  to endure something
3.       OIKODOMA:  enhance the process of parable-sign-construction
4.       PHRONEO:  the intent of one’s mind
5.       DOXADZO:  to magnify or intensify the bulging sign-tendency
6.       PROS-LAMBANO:  to take someone aside for teaching purposes
7.       BEBAIOO:  a confirmation of prior teachings
8.       GNOSIS:  embodied knowledge
9.       TOLMAROS:  anticipatory risk-taking in appropriating signs.
10.   DIDOMI:  grace as “substantial”
11.   HIEROURGEO:  our activity in spirit.
12.   SAMEION:  a “sign”
13.   TERAS:  a meaningful omen
14.   12 + 13:  “SIGNS AND MEANINGS” title of commentary.   (Rom. 15:19)


15.    3rd cut triad:  “intersubjectivity of voided-selves – exscribing “signs & meanings” – new subjectivity”

Monday, December 16, 2013

COMPOSING A PARABLE AT THE THRESHOLD OF SPIRIT: Romans 14: 1-23

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/q3wpndxdp5va44p/paulxx7b.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS:  14: 1-23   :

1.        DIAKRINO:  to differentiate, separate, arrange.
2.       DIALOGIDZOMAI:  “inscription” of ideal self at the threshold
3.       EXOUTHENEO:  judgment of contempt against another.
4.       PLAROPHOREO:  fully convinced subjectively.
5.       KURIOS / KURIEUO:  trajectory of spirit, within which our exscriptions and inscriptions take place.
6.       PROSKOMMA:  the action of stumbling
7.       SKANDALON:  an entrapment.
8.       OLETHROS:  to hand someone over to ruin.
9.       OIKODOMA:  to enhance the process of parable construction, or sign-model construction.
10.   DOKIMADZO:  self-approved motivational-base in the unconscious.
11.   “SELF-AS-RIGORIST”:  Barth’s term for the self of a morality consisting of finite practices.
12.   “SELF-AS-DETACHMENT”:  Barth’s term for the self as liberated to freedom through the CE.
13.   INSCRIPTION: the subjective encoding of our self-model of motivation in the explored unconscious.

14.   EXSCRIPTION:  the posited offerings we make as contributions to the parable-sign-model to lift the situation to “event”.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

EROS VS. AGAPE: ROM. 13: 1-14

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/7fmbkyud9b7ttbu/paulxx6b.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 13:  1-14 ; entire chapter:

1.        DIATAGE:  an ordinance of giving direction.
2.       TASSO:  a things fixed place; “station-in-life”
3.       PHOBOMAI:  to create an alarm as a warning of danger
4.       KAKOS:  that which is morally dangerous.
5.       DIAKONOS:  servant, our English “deacon”
6.       EKDIKOS:  an avenging punisher; legalistic enforcement of law.
7.       CHARIS – KRISIS – EGEIRO:  grace – judgment – lifting :  the moments of transitioning to eschatological time, out of linear time.
8.       BARTH’S TRIAD:  existing order – hidden order – posited “parables” that witness.


9.       Barth gave this brief chapter a 30 page essay; quite a bit for 14 verses. 

Thursday, December 12, 2013

BEING SINGULAR PLURAL: romans 12: 1-21

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/t316esgrvy9he2x/paulxx5.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 12: 1-21 ; FULL CHAPTER:

1.        THOSIA:  the sacrifice of faith.
2.       DZOA:  life expressed through the sensate side of living.
3.       SKAMA:  outward appearance of present situation; the “present scheme” of things.
4.       AION:  this age, a segment of linear time.
5.       ANAKAINOSIS:  spiritual renewal; picture of spirit “washing” through the mind.
6.       NOUS:  understanding of consciousness.
7.       DOKIMADZO:  to examine a truth through the activity of “praxis”
8.       THELMA:  “intent” of spirit.
9.       PHRONEO:  a fixed judgment against someone.
10.   CHARIS:  grace; plane-of-grace.
11.   DIDOMI:  to hand over to a person.
12.   PRAXIS:  a plan of action for a specific situation.
13.   KATH-EIS-ALLALONE-MELAY:  reciprocity as defining character between selves in communion.
14.   DIAPHOROS:  a difference in special abilities between selves.
15.   ANALOGIA:  a proportionate measure of spirit to an individual, to be shared in community.
16.   PROHISTEMI:  to be direct and purposeful.
17.   PHILADELPHIA:  a love or friendship, as would be between blood relations.
18.   PROSEUKA:  prayer & meditation.
19.   SUN-APAGO:  to accompany someone to a destination of favor.
20.   The Barth triad for this entire chapter:  EXHORTATION-DEMONSTRATION-PARABLE.

For this small 21 verse chapter, Barth wrote 60 detailed pages; almost outlining his own theological position

Monday, December 9, 2013

PAUL AND BARTH ON FUNDAMENTAL "PARADOXO" OF SPIRIT: ROM. 11: 26-36

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/download/z1nf0m5borpnz6k/paulxx4b.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 11: 26-36   :

1.        NOUS:  mind, the “understanding-of-spirit”, as that which lies beyond finite-knowing; something that stretches the rational.
2.       OUK-GINOSKO:  the inability to “learn”, in some logical way, the process-of-spirit.  Reinforcing the fact of negating organized ontologies which we feel must be sustained, that unconsciously influence the fresh and unique presentation of spirit in-itself.
3.       BATHOS:  the extreme limit of the idea of “depth”; extreme-depth.
4.       SOPHIA:  the wisdom with the ability to unveil the hidden signs.
5.       GNOSIS:  the knowledge of possessing the key to unlocking the meaning of signs, usually coupled with Sophia.
6.       ALPHA-EXERAUNAO:  the ability to pre-inquire into the spirit-nature of something; which Paul says is impossible.
7.       KRIMA:  the judgment as a resolution of tensions in existence.
8.       HODOS:  the specific trajectory of transiting spirit through a situation.
9.       OUK-METAMELOMAI:  will not change the mind-of-spirit, or understanding-of-spirit.
10.   KLASIS or KALEO:  phonological-calling that is understood as being personally and existentially directed.  And involves the giving of a new name; new subjectivity.
11.   ELEOS:  compassion.
12.   APEITHEO:  against-spirit-thinking.
13.   PAS-SODZO:  all are saved, all finitude, no exclusions.
14.   APO-STREPHO:  turn-away one’s face; the turning towards new subjectivity that takes place at the composition threshold; or , in this section, what Paul states is the threshold as the ideal-church-of-Jacob.
15.   RUOMAI:  a drawing-toward, with the included idea of preservation of identity.

16.   THREE PHASE ARTICULATION OF SPIRIT INCLUDES:  “NEGATION – LIFTING – PRESERVATION”

Saturday, December 7, 2013

PAUL ON FUTURUM OF SPIRIT: ROMANS 11: 1-25

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/download/m0l631y2tq637k7/paulxx3b.mp3

       GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 11: 1 – 25  :

1.        NUSTADZO:  an idle drifting out of place.
2.       SKOTOS:  the realization of the darkness of existential non-existence.
3.       LEIMMA:  a remnant, resulting from fragmentation of the communal whole.
4.       OUK-EPI-ZATEO:  not seeking dialogue and debate.
5.       APO-TOMOS:  a severe corrective-cut
6.       KOPTO:  cut away from something
7.       EK-KLAO:  to be cut away from the possibility of recognizing those first trace-signals of spirit, that appear and then withdraw. 
8.       KATA-LLASSO:  a reconciled body-state within the explored unconscious; the motivational-space of the unconscious.
9.       PRO-LAMPHIS:  to be reinstated to a prior place; like the threshold of acquiring spirit.
10.   EK-KENTRIDZO:  to be grafted back onto the communal-tree gathered at the circular composition-threshold of spirit. 

11.   All three cuts take a look at the tensions existing in day-to-day experience of living towards and within spirit.  

Thursday, December 5, 2013

the spiritual gift of listening: ROM. 10: 15-21

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/29t7uicxg4c7la5/paulxx2.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 10: 15-21   :

1.        APOSTELLO:  a feeling of being called to a specific place; like the composition threshold of spirit.
2.       KARUSSO:  the specific type of content of proclamation; consisting of “kerygma” or the central existential truth of the CE.
3.       EUANGGELIDZO:  the specific type of “form” of presentation; consisting of a prolepsis or “promise-form”.
4.       EIRANA:  peace or harmony as the atmosphere of the threshold of dialogue and composition.
5.       HUPO-AKOUO:  he key concept of this section.  Meaning “hyper-perception”, or possessing the spiritual eyes to “see” and he spiritual ears to “hear”.  If so, then you possess the gift of hyper-perception, or “spiritual-perception”.  Post-moderns call this simply “listening”.
6.       RAMA:  the declared word or phonological word.  Not to be confused with “logos” ; two entirely different ideas. 
7.       HEURISKO:  to discover, to come upon something.  The passive nature is emphasized, not active nature.
8.       EKPETA-NUMI:  significant step of mediation; the “stretching-out” of spirit.  In post –modern language this would mean deconstructing false metaphysics, freeing-up the signs so they can stretch-out and be visible in their purity again.

9.       The triad of listening:   “presentation – obedience – listening”

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

DISCUSSION OF KERYGMA BY PAUL AND BARTH: ROM. 10: 1-14

click link:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/h44ncmmj8rifxfa/paulxx1.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROMANS 10: 1-14  :

1.        DZALOS:  an enthusiastic type common-sense, from surface data only.
2.       EPIGINOSKO:  to know something in “depth”, through and through.
3.       DIKAISOS:  conforming to the law of something, following it in the right way.
4.       IDIOS:  particularity, with no intersubjectivity.
5.       THEOS:  conforming to communal-spirit.
6.       CHRISTOS:  the “anointed one”; evolved to the status of a name for Jesus of Nazareth.
7.       TELOS:  end
8.       NOMOS:  rigid law or dogma.
9.       POIEO:  to construct through human activity.
10.   LEGO:  dialogue in communion, intersubjective activity.
11.   ANA-BASIS & KATA-BASIS:  to ascend up to spirit , or descend to underworld.
12.   KARUSSO:  to make known; related to bultmann’s “kerygma”
13.   HOMOLOGEO:  presentation of the CE as promise.
14.   PISTEUO:  faith as activity.
15.   OUK-DISTELLO:  no exclusion of any person.
16.   OUK-AISKUNA:  no shame to be inferred on any one person
17.   SKUDZO:  the activity of “differentiation”

18.   BARTH’S TRIAD:  “guilt – retirement and withdrawal – new orientation” (applied to the church).

Monday, December 2, 2013

FINISHING CHAPTER NINE, BARTH'S FAVORITE CHAPTER: ROM. 9: 17-33

CLICK LINK:  http://www.mediafire.com/listen/n6o99m8chao95hg/paulxx.mp3

GLOSSARY FOR ROM. 9: 17-33   :

1.        MAKRO-THUMIA:  listening to someone patiently.
2.       DUNAMIS:  as “power-of-meaning”
3.       TIMA:  value
4.       ATIMOS:  dis-value
5.       PRO-ETOMADZO:  to prepare beforehand for the reception of doxa-signs.
6.       SKUOS:  the prepared and purposeful self, with an internally posited ideal-workspace for sign-construction.
7.       OUK-AGAPAO:  the non-entitled, the rejected, outsiders, the unloved ones.
8.       HUPO-TRECHO:  to align oneself with someone.
9.       LEIPO:  the inferior ones.
10.   LOGON-KAI-POIASAI:  “phonological presentation”
11.   “DISSOLUTION – TRIBULATION – SCANDAL” :  Barth’s triad for this section